The Amiel Blog

Lost bodyfat despite long cold and holidays

Yes, my friends, the bodyfat continues to burn, baby, burn. The numbers:

• August 23, 2011      24.5% bodyfat, 160.7 lbs
• October 27, 2011    22.8%, 160.6 lbs
• January 3, 2012      20.5%  156.7 lbs

Still on our way to the ambitious target of 10% bodyfat and between 155 and 165 lbs.

I'm proud of these results because they came despite a 5-week cold during which I worked out only one or two times some weeks--evidenced in the fact I only gained 0.5 lbs of muscle in two months! And then there were the ever-tempting holiday sweets, a temptation I avoided except on cheat days and the time I forgot to eat an amazing fudge on my cheat day so had a couple pieces the next day. 

 

New daily breakfast

My Diamond Approach buddy introduced me to what is now my daily breakfast: a mix of hot oatmeal, quinoa and millet coupled with a mix of nuts, seeds and berries. Each week I make a big batch of the hot cereal and store it in a mason jar.

Four things I've noticed:
1. I enjoy the taste
2. It feels freeing to know what I'm eating each day (freedom from the anxiety of choosing)
3. Warm food is comforting in the cooler weather, even in this mild winter (40s and 50s every day)
4. A high protein and healthy fat breakfast fuels the first part of my day

Bavarian Mountain Mud Mask

My sister, Valerie, announced it was time for her to do one of these to remove impurities. So I agreed to join the fun. A slight burning sensation followed. 15 minutes later it was time to rinse. A new man (?)

Opting out with TSA

If strangers are going to look at my naked body, I want to get paid for it. And if I'm going to expose myself to radiation, I expect to get a diagnosis out of it. These are two of several reasons I chose this morning to declare "opt out" while approaching the relatively new TSA full body scanners.

What happened next? I walked through the old machines, received a full body pat down ("back of the hands on the sensitive regions"), and was done. It took all of three minutes. and I felt content by this small experiment.

Then I saw three adults stroll through the old machines without needing to get the pat down for the simple reason they had babies in their hands. Makes sense from a humanity perspective but is utterly nonsensical from a security point of view. If our country is truly committed to eliminating security holes, do we really think a clever and determined terrorist would not find a baby to carry through?

The obvious answer is no. This is why so many experts on security and quality journalists refer to TSA's airport procedures as security theater. It doesn't actually protect us, just puts on a show. Some would go a step further and argue it's a Bush/Cheney test of our willingness to surrender our liberties that Obama has perpetuated.

As Julie knows all too well, every time I experience this farce the different parts of my brain battle and fortunately the part that governs patient thoughtful response wins. Today was the first time I actually tested the system.

The twin benefits of truly feeling emotion

During a two-hour drive to Olympia yesterday, I saw evidence of an essential truth: my capacity to be kind and patient when triggered is directly related to my ability to truly own the emotion. Conversely, the less aware I am that there is a strong feeling arising, the more likely I am to be harsh, critical and even mean. Consider two scenarios:

Scenario A

1. I feel afraid, sad or angry
2. The witness capacity evokes an awareness that I'm having an experience of some kind
3. Curiosity leads me to wonder what this experience is
4. I notice my physical sensations and/or emotions
5. I name them to myself
6. Once I name them, an awareness arises in me that this is an Amiel moment, i.e. stay connected to Amiel
7. I may or may not reveal this experience to the other person (using "I" language and naming the emotion). Either way, my response is calm, dignified, and respectful
8. Things turn out well

Scenario B

1. I feel afraid, sad, or angry
2. There is little or no witness capacity
3. I respond quickly and often angrily
4. The breath shortens, the mind narrow, and the vision contracts
5. Things turn out poorly

Question: who or what controls whether or not the witness capacity arises in such moments?

Where the body holds tension

Two weeks ago I had my first session with a Strozzi-trained somatic coach. The experience is hard to describe. It was a subtle inquiry into my current experience while the coach moved and touched different parts of my body (lifting the arm, pulling the leg, etc.). The insights came after the hour was over when I asked her to tell me what she observed. She confirmed what I already sensed: that I hold tension in my head, face and jaw. She said that my face is unusually smooth (few creases) so it's not easy to immediately tell I hold lots of tension. I agree that it can be smooth, but she's only seen me in relatively relaxed situations. I mentioned that I also hold a lot of tension in the pelvic region. She said she didn't notice this when I walked in but it started to become apparent during the session. 

The big insight was a new interpretation of something I understood. I've known for a long time that my shoulders pull in and understood this could affect my breathing. What I learned in this session is that this positioning of the shoulders also compresses my ability to feel my heart. Never thought of that before!

Body weight over past week

Two pieces of news to report on the body weight:

1. I'm switching from daily measurements to weekly measurements. Rationale: I'm more concerned about the long-term trendline and am realizing my weight fluctuates from day to day. Read: daily measurements weren't adding sufficient value.
2. My body weight decreased from 155.6 to 154.8 pounds in seven days. I am pleased because this 0.8 lb decrease is near my goal of 1.3 pounds per week and happened during a week when I only lifted weights due mostly to my cold and when I did a big cheat day (last Saturday--pancakes, great Greek dinner, and Ben  & Jerry's ice cream for dessert). I did stick to the nutrition program quite diligently and limited my overall calorie intake to the "lose weight" regiment from Happy Body.  

Also, one thought on the target of 165 pounds and 10% bodyfat: do you realize how much easier the next two years would be if I set the target weight at 155 pounds? The amount of muscle I would need to gain would be nearly halved, yet I'd only need to lose a bit more body fat. This is a moot issue for the next 12 months, which is about how long it will take me to be 155 pounds and 10% body fat if all goes as (ambitiously planned). At that point, we can reassess the situation.

Staying connected with the little guy

Today I stayed connected with Jacob as much as I have in a long time

Today Jacob had a smooth day full of positive transitions, multiple trips to the toilet, and a very easy path to sleep at night.

Any connection between these two?

I think so. Sure, correlation is not causation, but my gut tells me that the more Jacob felt me attuning to him, playing with him, listening to him and being present with him (while setting appropriate boundaries), the more he felt comfortable doing what he needed to do. This was particularly true this afternoon/evening when he willingly sat on the toilet three times (in contrast to his resistance yesterday and this morning), enthusiastically went in for the tooth brushing, and went to sleep with zero crying (though I did rub his feet for a long and strenuous fifteen minutes--where's the toddler massage table when you need it?)

Two things we did a lot of today: wrestling  and Jacob sitting on my lap.

My new desk (it elevates)

Why sit for a living when you can stand...or sit?

Stay tuned for reports on how standing some or all of the day affects yours truly's mood, productivity and overall well being. Yes, I'll likely get support for my legs/feet pretty soon here.

Weekly inquiry by phone

New life experiment that supports my commitments to Diamond Approach and to new friendships: weekly 60-minute inquiry calls with Cliff. I met Cliff at Enneagram training part II in upstate New York. He lives in Washington DC. 

The structure of today's call:

• 2 minutes of friendly banter
• 5 minutes of silent meditation
• Repeating questions, 10 minutes each
• Monologues, 10 minutes each

It's hard to describe repeating questions and monologues in the Diamond Approach tradition to those who haven't experienced. So let me summarize: it's about getting very curious about your immediate experience: body, heart, mind, you name it. What's true for me right now?

For example, today I asked Cliff to ask me the following repeating question: "What does your heart want to say?" If you answer this question twenty times in ten minutes, it can be very revealing, particularly if 2/3 of the time you speak in the first-person as the heart. Or so I learned today.

My monologue? Again, impossible to summarize, but I can say it was mostly about exploring what I have to "bring to the table" in life and the ways I have discounted or disregarded this in the past. Fascinating exploration.