The Amiel Blog

Meeting-free week #2

During my year-end review in December, I asked myself: how to create more time and space in life for the important-but-not urgent activities like writing, reflecting, extended spiritual practice, play, and reading? One answer: declare one meeting-free week per month, starting with a pilot period from January to March. No client calls or F2Fs, no business development, etc.

Last week was the second one of the year. Several observations:

1. Not all important-but-not urgent activities fit into the "retreat-like" categories listed above. I spent quite a bit of time on finances, bathroom planning (not how to go, or even how to help Jacob go, but what the new one in our house will look like) and processing my inbox like a good GTD (Getting Things Done) practitioner.

2. Once aware of this, I found myself feeling frustrated, even angry. "I'm not doing anything I want to do!"

3. What was evoked was a familiar pattern of interpreting an event in a way that seeds self distrust. Ah, that familiar friend! Is it possible to give the superego the week off, too.

4. A second such seed: I backed Julie's car into a telephone pole, the first one I've hit in twenty years. I was alone in the car, and the bump exerted less force on my body than dumbbells do when I lower them to the ground behind my head. To honor my commitment, I didn't schedule my "meeting" with the body shop until the next Monday (today).

5. Now here lies the genius of the meeting-free week. I had and created (more than the usual amount of) time to feel my emotions, listen to the body sensations, and use meditation to unglue myself from the bodymind's constrictions.

6. Notably, I delved into Wilber, which reminded me of the developmental benefits of meditations other than the kath (my standard practice as part of being a Diamond Approach student) and of the distinction between "pathological" neurotic fear and the fear that all bodyminds have of death, of losing their sense of self. The latter insight relaxed me instantly by suggesting - yet again - that some of my everyday anxiety isn't "bad" but simply human and a subtle sign of Rocketship Amiel preparing to blast off into or beyond what Wilber calls vision-logic (which is transverbal but not transpersonal).

7. The week concluded last night with Julie and I doing inquiry (into our respective moment-to-moment experiences--another Diamond Approach practice). While listening, I did a third-eye meditation and felt more present to her and myself than usual. Remarkably few thoughts cluttered the mind. My inquiry ("monologue") that followed involved mostly exploring the meditative buzz and the visual and auditory sensations through which I felt its expression. Beautiful!

8. Guess what was the first email in my inbox this morning? Yes, a request from a client to schedule something during my meeting-free week in late March. Time for a counter-offer!

Where the body holds tension

Two weeks ago I had my first session with a Strozzi-trained somatic coach. The experience is hard to describe. It was a subtle inquiry into my current experience while the coach moved and touched different parts of my body (lifting the arm, pulling the leg, etc.). The insights came after the hour was over when I asked her to tell me what she observed. She confirmed what I already sensed: that I hold tension in my head, face and jaw. She said that my face is unusually smooth (few creases) so it's not easy to immediately tell I hold lots of tension. I agree that it can be smooth, but she's only seen me in relatively relaxed situations. I mentioned that I also hold a lot of tension in the pelvic region. She said she didn't notice this when I walked in but it started to become apparent during the session. 

The big insight was a new interpretation of something I understood. I've known for a long time that my shoulders pull in and understood this could affect my breathing. What I learned in this session is that this positioning of the shoulders also compresses my ability to feel my heart. Never thought of that before!

Enneagram mantras and mudras

Another wonderful week with Russ Hudson and other teachers at the Enneagram Institute. This time in upstate New York and with an experiential focus on the somatics of each type at varying levels of health. An energetic and wise woman named Andrea Isaacs showed us how each of the nine types moves its body in the world at healthy, average and shadow levels. And she asked us to practice this ourselves. We actually moved around the room in each of these twenty seven permutations of somatic experience.

By the end, each participant developed a mantra (saying) and mudra (body movement) for the healthy level of each type. Yes, not just their own type, but all nine types because each type lives within us.

Here are my mantras and a description of the mudras. (Sometime I'll get photos of me doing the mantras):

• Type 8: Stately inner solidity. (Stand upright with arms down and palms facing out)
• Type 9: I have depth. (Press left foot firmly on ground, then repeat with right foot, feeling my connection to the earth)
• Type 1: I have dignified poise. (Hold both hands in front of my chest with palms facing each other, then move them together outward and hold).
• Type 2: I am receiving your love. (Reach out both hands and scoop the air toward my heart)
• Type 3: I am the greater glory. (Pull arms out to sides and then above head, meeting to form a circle)
• Type 4: Quiet deep emotional strength. (One hand on heart center and one on belly)
• Type 5: Infinite clarity. (Create circular shape with thumbs and pointing fingers, place in front of each eye, and project arms outward)
• Type 6: Strong and confident. (Move arms as though doing biceps exercise then hold in downward extension)
• Type 7: Rapture and elated. (Move up the front of my body and out to the sides).

Each mantra and mudras evokes a different type of energy and mood in my body. "I am receiving your love" evokes warm feelings in my heart and a sensation of taking in. "I am the greater glory" produces a sense of brilliant grandeur, a feeling of being large. "Raptured and elated", particularly when said with a raptured tone, produces this very feeling in my being. The mantras and mudras for types 8, 9, 1, 4 and 6, while different, all call forth deep presence and solidity.

So the question then becomes: when to practice the mantras and mudras? For the past week, I've practiced them at least once a day. Last night, we experimented with incorporating them into our Shabbat ritual. After three cleansing breaths and before the candlelighting, I did the mantras and mudras while Julie and Jacob watched. It takes about 45 seconds. I have offered to share my Enneagram notes with Julie so she can create her own. As for Jacob, I hope that hanging out with us while we embody these qualities will nourish his development and his access to the many dimensions of human being-ness. (More on other experiments with Shabbat to make it "our own" while building on the tradition in a future post).

 

Taking charge of the massage

Since my first massage in 2000, here are what I've considered the three keys to a great massage:

1. The massage therapist (quality of presence, hands, and technique varies widely)
2. The physical environment (table, lighting, music, outside sound)
3. The person being massaged (am I ready to breathe and take in what the massage offers?)

Recently, I've come up with a fourth: the sequence. Here are the principles that work for me

• Feet First: When my feet get worked in the first half of the session, everything else relaxes
• Face and Head Soon. I also hold a lot of tension in these areas. 

For several years, I didn't know what to do with these preferences and found myself leaving the massage with regrets. After all, the therapist knows best. But lately I've been giving her (they're almost always women for me) the 411 at the start. No need to beat around the bush. 

So I take charge of my massage at the beginning and then let the therapist lead the rest of the way.

Yet I'm still curious: what sequence of massage strokes and stretches produces the greatest easing of tension? Time to try some things out...